I Ate Peanut Butter Balls Every Day for 2 Weeks – Here’s What Happened

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of articles like “I drank lemon water every day for 2 weeks – here’s what happened” or “I put cayenne on everything for 2 weeks – here’s what happened”. So, me being me, I wanted to jump on that bandwagon and do my own experiment.

With peanut butter balls. Because…well…I’m me. 

I’ve taken the list of effects others have written about magic lemon water and spicy, blow-your-buns-out food and ran my own peanut butter ball experiment. 

The results are staggering.

Complexion Enhancer

After two weeks of peanut butter (not even the natural kind, because honestly, why the eff would I do that?!), rice crispies, powdered sugar and semi-sweet chocolate my complexion is…oily. AKA: shiny and fresh and feels super smooth and slick. There may be a few more pimples on my chin and forehead but the oil makes me shine like those young, fresh-faced annoying 20-something’s complexions that seem to glow no matter what time of day it is. I’m pretty sure I’ve taken about 10 years off the look of my face simply due to the excess oil.

I consider this a win. 

Immune Booster

Peanut butter is a “known” immune booster. You didn’t know that did you? Well, let me fill you in. It’s packed with Vitamin E and “flu-fighting” anti-oxidants, so my experiment was well-timed because I’ve been fighting this nagging cough/chest/sore throat/cold thing for about 6 weeks now and I’d love some relief. Also, I read on the interweb machine that peanut butter is an incredible immune booster, so I’m sure it’s true. 

My results? After 2 weeks of eating peanut butter balls (maybe more than one – stop judging me) every day, I still have this f**king illness and it’s kicking my arse every day. Perhaps I need to go to the doctor? Maybe there are meds (I think they’re called penicillin or some other fancy word I can’t remember). I will let my doctor know that I DID dose with peanut butter and I’m sure he’ll be super surprised that didn’t work. 

Prescription meds, it is.

Good try, peanut butter balls…you failed this one.

Weight Loss Aid

Hold onto your panties, Mamas, because this one is going to shock you.

I gained weight. Didn’t lose an ounce. 

I’m as shocked as you.

(And yes, I’m in my bathroom. I’m hiding. I don’t share peanut butter balls)

Mood Booster

I ate peanut butter balls for 2 weeks every day…how could my mood not be boosted? I mean, seriously. You pop those little balls into your mouth (wait, what?!) on the daily, you bet your sweet buns I’m feeling amazing. I mean, the weight gain’s got me a little down and I still feel like ass because of this cold, but my skin is oily and glow-y and I LOVE eating peanut butter balls. So…my mood? 

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

Heck yeah I feel good about myself.

Except when I don’t. Like, after my 5th one in a day, that’s a bit much. I got a little bloated and seem to be retaining water. I blame the sugar for that one, not the peanut butter. Or the chocolate. I would never EVER blame those two gifts from the heavens above.

Peanut butter balls for 2 weeks = joy and happiness. 

But then regret and something akin to…disgust? I can’t believe I just wrote that. I take it back. If only there was a way to erase what I just wrote! The horror!

The Results Are In

If you’re looking for a way to grease up your skin, boost your immune system (but not really), gain weight and experience moments of euphoria followed by moments of guilt and regret, peanut butter ball eating for 2 weeks on the daily is for YOU! 

Obviously, this was a single subject experiment and your experience may differ.

But, I think it may be time for me to knock it off and eat a…vegetable. Or a salad. Maybe time to get in a sweaty workout. And drink some water.

It may be time for me to crawl Back on the Bandwagon.

I mean, you know I’d do anything for all of you and in my heart of hearts, I’m a researcher. But erm…I’m kinda over those chocolate balls for the season and seriously cannot wait to get on a different track.