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Disconnecting To Become a Better Mama

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I was recently on holiday with my family and, while I’m absolutely attached to my phone because of what I do, it’s the ONE week every year where I go completely radio silent. I don’t log in to Facebook, I don’t check emails, I don’t go anywhere near a computer. And, it’s freakin’ glorious. My phone explodes and overheats the moment I turn it on after the week, but hey…it’s so worth it.

This year was no different. As my friend drove us to the airport, I sat in the back with my kiddos and I had my son push the little airplane button on my phone and just like that, I disconnected. Well, not exactly. I had to turn it back on and do it again so my daughter could also push the button. They love that part. It’s the moment they know I’m going to be with them, really with them, for the entire week. They actually cheer. And then I feel like a jerk because I know how much I’m attached to my phone because of work and random scrolling and I know it affects them.

Why do I even bring my phone on this week-long zero-connectivity holiday? Simple. I like the camera. Seriously. It’s a really good camera. 

I get asked all the time if I sneak off during the holidays to go online and “quickly” check on things. The honest and sharp answer is “NO”. No freakin’ way. There is no “quickly” check on things when you own a company as there will ALWAYS be something urgent going on. Always. 

I have zero desire to go online when I’m on this holiday. It’s my one week every year where I get to just forget it all. I’m just Lindsay, Mom and wife. Nothing else. And those roles, those are the most important roles I have. Don’t get me wrong, being the OHM is amazing, being a friend to many is humbling, being a daughter is the best…but being me, Mom and Wife? Yeah…that’s where I really shine. 

We had a fabulous holiday this year. Really fabulous. But, the point of this article isn’t about how amazing the nachos, drinks, pools and ocean were. No, this is about what happened when we returned.

We got home, I turned my phone on in the airport and…it exploded for about 10 minutes loading everything. And, since then, I’ve been connected and working like a fiend since. It’s like our holiday never happened. And, that is where I need to make a change. 

I was watching a movie with my son the other night, and by watching a movie, I mean that he was watching and I was randomly scrolling through Facebook. Not even “working” just randomly scrolling, checking on my franchise owners’ pages and groups, liking posts, commenting when I could, etc. My son turned to me and said “Mom, it’s like you’re not even here”. 

Shoot. Dangit. Frig. DAMMIT.

He was right. Just sitting next to him isn’t being present. Just being there with him isn’t enough. This isn’t an incredible A-HA moment for most of you and it wasn’t really for me…what was the A-HA moment was looking into his eyes and seeing how honest and sincere…and lonely he was. And I was right there. But, I wasn’t. I wasn’t present.

So, I decided to do something about it. Now, I own a fairly large company and it’s getting busier every day. So, disconnecting for weeks at a time is impossible. I even tried cutting off electronics for certain times of the day. BUT…again, I work in a very consumer-driven company and I’m a startup, so right now, I just can’t do that.

What can I do? I’ve decided I can do mini-disconnects. I can commit to one weekend per month of complete disconnect. Yes, I’m going to have to schedule it. Yes, I’m going to have to plan it and organize with my team. But, it can happen. My son and daughter will get to pick the weekend and they’ll get to push the airplane on my phone on Friday night at 4pm and I’ll push it again on Monday morning at 5am to reconnect. 

That’s my plan. The best part? My son is BEYOND excited. When I asked him what he thought of my idea the biggest and most beautiful smile fell on his face. And, although for a lot of you reading this, this doesn’t seem like much, disconnecting for one weekend every month, for me…it’s a biggie. And, I’m committing to it. This is going to happen and I cannot wait to share with you how our monthly disconnects go.

Hopefully I’ll see a whole lot of this smile…

Will you join me in disconnecting? It’s going to be great. I just know it. 

When Sledgehammers Meet Scales, Magic Happens

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How can I possibly capture the emotional moments of women unleashing their strength and power in writing? It’s daunting and overwhelming, but I’m going to try to give justice to the energy and love that was felt during the Hot Mama Scale Bash Celebrations. 

It was last summer that I woke at 3am with the idea of creating a program where I combined fitness, fitness education and self-love exercises to help women learn to accept and love their bodies as they are. I landed on finally calling the “self-love” exercises “Love Yourself More” and they’re an integral part of our 8-week Screw the Scale (previously Screw Skinny) program. It is the combination of fitness and Love Yourself More exercises that make this program completely different than anything you’ve ever tried before.

I also thought it would be ridiculously amazing to offer an event where women could take back their power from the scale by bashing it with a sledgehammer. I wanted to give women the opportunity to smash (literally) a piece of equipment that has more often than not created heartache, self-loathing and body image despair. So, I created our Scale Bash Celebrations where we literally take a sledgehammer to scales and unleash the power we have within ourselves.

I saw a void in the fitness industry and I wanted to create a new, ground-breaking, self-loving fitness program. A lot of people workout to look better, fit into their jeans or lose a designated amount of weight. And, unfortunately, we’re heading into a season where we’re about to be inundated with getting “bikini-body ready”. That kills me. Every time. I needed to change that. 

Think about it: does the fitness program you’re currently on remind you to love your body? I’d hazard a guess that for the most part, that’s not the focus.

So, what about the work that has to go into accepting your body the way it is? Sure, let’s get fit and healthy, but perhaps we, in the fitness industry, also need to provide tools to help you learn to accept your body in its healthy form. That may not look like what the media images show us. That may look jiggly, wiggly, skinny, boney, muscley, not muscley, dimply or sleek. Health and fitness can come in all shapes, sizes, curves and glory. We need to start embracing and loving all silhouettes.

Why are we not teaching that? We were missing the point. 

But not any longer.

When sledgehammers meet scales, magic happens and programs like Screw the Scale can help us move past the numbers and towards self and body-love. The good news? I’m not alone on this mission, I have a band of women teaching this right along with me. 

About 100 women participated in our 8-week Screw the Scale program and I wish I could explain to you how humbling it is to hear how a program that came from my heart has impacted so many women. When I get pulled aside and told that this program helped you become a more patient, more energized, more loving Mother or that you can finally look in a mirror and love yourself, please know I am so grateful for your words. Your words are why I do what I do. Your words constantly inspire me to do more, give more.

Knowing that you’re taking the time for fitness and putting your health and self-love on your priority list is a beautiful thing. Learning that you’re happier, healthier and teaching your kids about the importance of fitness and body acceptance, well, that’s everything to me. So, thank you.

It’s beyond humbling. It’s beyond stunning. It’s beyond all my far-fetched dreams and expectations. 

So, How did the events go? Well…there were sledgehammers, scales, workouts, cheering, laughing, crying. There were so many emotions and so much love at each of the three events, I left feeling breathless, inspired and humbled. 

The energy of women bashing scales is phenomenal. Powerful. Beautiful. Even in the smaller groups, the energy put through the sledgehammer into the scale was exciting and…riveting. It went beyond the physical smashing and many women had a serious cry sesh shortly after. If we can help women step off the scale and learn that they’re so much more than that stupid number, I will celebrate and #dancedammit for the rest of my days. 

Trust me when I tell you that you’re worth it. You have strength. You have power. You are not defined by the numbers on your scale. I will help you raise your sledgehammer to your scale and bash it with the beauty and strength you have inside of you. Screw the scale, Mamas…you’re so much more than a number. 

 

Wanna know the coolest part? Me and my Hot Mamas…well…we’re going to continue pushing you to love yourself. This program will be offered at a franchise near you, just check in with them! And, if you don’t have a Hot Mama franchise near you (you should buy one), our online Screw the Scale program will be launching on May 4, 2017. So, keep watching for the magic…it’s coming. 

The True Gift of Childhood Adoration

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Her name is Sam. If you ask my daughter she is the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. She has brown hair, bright red lipstick…and my daughter fell madly in love with her new “sister” from the moment she saw her dance. 

Perhaps I need to tell this story from the very beginning…

Two years ago my kids and a friend of mine and her daughter went on an Alaskan Cruise with Norwegian Cruise Lines. This was our second cruise together and we absolutely love them. The kids’ clubs, the food, the pools, the scenery…it’s really quite amazing. If you haven’t been, you should! And no, I don’t get paid to say that. There are also performances by the dance crew and that was where my daughter first saw the magic that is Sam. She gravitated to Sam on stage and when she had the opportunity to meet her, she was all smiles, hugs and obvious adoration. 

Before we left for the cruise, my daughter had to decide if she wanted to even go this year, because by doing so she would miss her first ever dance recital. I said we could bring her costume and she could do a private recital for us on the ship. She agreed and thought that was a great idea. 

After meeting Sam, she was bound and determined to invite Sam to watch her recital. She drew a picture invitation (she was 4 at the time) and we dropped the invitation off at customer service, just hoping that it would find its way to Sam. I prepped Miss P that the dancers were very busy and that we weren’t even sure if Sam would be able to make it with her busy work schedule. I was fully prepared for tears and disappointment. 

The evening of her recital came and just as we were about to start, Miss P gave a little squeal and I turned around to see the beautiful Sam and her then fiance (now gorgeous husband) Brian coming to watch my daughter perform. It is kind people like Sam & Brian who help me believe that there is goodness and kindness all around. Sam watched Miss P dance, she taught her a few moves and loved and hugged her up. These are moments of pure joy that my daughter got to experience because of someone else and I will never, ever forget them. 

Even better? Miss P received her own drawing invitation from Sam on our cabin door inviting her to the final performance on the Norwegian Pearl. Miss P made it quite well known to Sam that she was there by standing on her chair a few times and waving her big Miss P waves. 

We managed to keep in touch with Sam while she finished her contract with Norwegian and we even got to meet up with Sam & Brian in Victoria on their last port visit before they left the ship to get married. Again, I won’t forget the moments Sam shared with us, as magic simply surrounds my daughter and Sam when they’re together. 

Fast forward two years and here we are. I recently got a message from Sam about filming a short video about customer service and making connections between the staff and the cruise-goers. And, of course, they wanted to do a story on Miss P and Sam. The best part? They decided to fly Sam out to surprise Miss P and spend the day with her. 

The day of the shoot came and Miss P was a bundle of nerves. It’s absolutely nerve-wracking as an adult to sit on a stool in the middle of a room with a mic on, lights glaring and video cameras pointing, nevermind being a 6-year old. But Miss P handled it all A-OK. We had told her that Sam would video call us and that at least she’d get to see her and talk to her on video. She kept saying “I really wish she was here, Mama. Wouldn’t it be so fun if she was here?”. 

Then, the doorbell rang and Miss P went running to the door, as she always does. I followed behind. She opened the door. Then turned to me and whispered, “She’s here.”. And with those two words, my heart exploded and joy filled my soul from the happiness Sam had once again brought to my daughter. Sam and Miss P spent all day together. The picked rocks at the beach, they jumped on the trampoline, they watched the Trolls movie and Sam even got dragged to Miss P’s swimming lessons. All of this in an 8-hour day. 

So, why do I tell you all of this? Because, for me, I wanted to capture these moments for my daughter. I want to teach her that kindness can lead to many wonderful experiences and going above and beyond for someone can change their lives. I’m not sure Sam has any idea of the impact she had not only on my daughter, but on me. There was the opportunity to be “too busy” to come to the recital or meet us in Victoria, but kindness won. And for that, I am beyond grateful. 

Sam, you are magic and wonder and absolute love. Not only through the eyes of my daughter, by through my eyes and with all my heart. The two of you have a special connection and there’s no one I’m more privileged to share my daughter’s adoration with than you. 

I will remember the cruise on the Norwegian Pearl for all my life, because it taught me the power of kindness, of going above and beyond. It made me believe in the magic of childhood adoration and all the possibilities it holds. 

Thank you, Sam. With all I am, thank you. 

For the Love of Valentine’s Day

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Oh Valentine’s Day. A day so many people choose to despise despite your best efforts to remind people of love. 

Listen, I know Valentine’s day is a “Hallmark” holiday. You don’t need your partner to buy you flowers one day a year. Blah-dee-blah-blah. I get it. I totally get it. And you’re right, your partner should remind you daily that you’re loved. You may not receive flowers or chocolates or little gifties every day, but the words and the actions had best be there more than one day a year. I 100% agree with you.

Even my husband and I husband don’t “celebrate” Valentine’s day (mostly because our birthdays are both less than a week ago and who has that kind of money?!) but you can bet your sweet buns that on this day, when I have crazy schedules and oodles on my brain, the hearts and commercials remind me to take a moment to show him I love him. And yes, I do need reminders. Thank goodness for Valentine’s day.

I’m also reminded to celebrate this day of love with everyone around me. What’s so bad about a day reminding people to tell someone you love them? How can we hate a day like that? I don’t get it.

I see post after post about how ridiculous Valentine’s Day is and I always think “Why?”. Why is this day ridiculous? 

Can’t we all use a reminder to be kind and love one another? During a time of great fear, stress, change and upheavel, isn’t it kind of nice to step back and have love forced down our throats? Even simple reminder of hearts being drawn on cookies or in your coffee, I think it’s nice to see people make an effort to show kindness, love and gratitude. 

Of course it’d be nice if we showed kindness, love and gratitude every day and there are people out there who try to do so. But, there are a lot of people who get bogged down in the stress that is work, Motherhood, deadlines, demands and expectations. So, isn’t it kinda nice to have a day where we can remind people that love is out there and all it takes is a smile, a kind word and, if possible, a super lovey-squeezy, gooey card to remind them of the words we so often forget to say?

You don’t need to buy gifts to make Valentine’s Day special. This day is about love and at the heart of it (get it…heart of it) I choose to accept these messages of love from any and all willing to give them. People tend to go out of their way when they’re reminded to show some love. 

So thank you Valentine’s Day. I don’t need your chocolates or flowers or gifties…I do need your love. And, I appreciate the reminder to step back from my oh-so-busy day and celebrate love and all the people I choose to share my heart with. 

From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you are thoroughly loved all year love (hubba hubba) and feel that love in your heart for the next 365 days. 

With extreme love and gratitude,
Your OHM

You Laughed in 2016 – Remember That

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It’s the end of another year and as with every year, I see post after post of people wishing away the year. Ranting about how awful the past 365 days were. Giving the past year the big eff you. And yes, while this year has been a tough one for many people, it’s time for us all to reflect on the goodness that has come out of all your hard work. It’s time to reflect and show gratitude for a life you still get to lead. You’re alive, people. You’re here. 

Bad things happen. They happen all the time. Jobs are lost. Relationships break down. People die. In no way am I saying we shouldn’t grieve, because change is hard and honestly, we have lost some stellar celebrity and musical icons this year, so yes you should grieve. 

But…You. Are. Here. 

In a day and age where social media rules all hours, news travels fast. And unfortunately, bad/sad news travels even faster. We are constantly inundated with the badness of the world and only every now and then do we get to celebrate the goodness. So, our job, as regular ‘ol shmos is to find the goodness and celebrate it. People are going to die in 2017. It’s a given. Remember the Lion King and the Circle of Life? There’s simply no way of getting around death. People also died last year and the year before and wait for it…the year before that. We’ve lost some amazing people in 2016 and it saddens me to think of who we might lose in 2017…but we’re going to lose some. So, how are we going to get through all the deaths, the sadness, the grief and the turmoil?

I get concerned when I continuously read people bashing the year they’ve had. Okay, sure, you’ve had a doozy. But did you learn? Did you grow? Did you morph into a newer version of yourself because you needed to adapt to your life? Did you laugh? Did you love? Were there births in your life? Anniversaries? Did you celebrate and laugh? Why is it that when people reflect on the year past, anger and bitterness always wins? There were times of accomplishment and joy. Times of silliness and sun. Life was yours all year.

You. Are. Here. 

Life is hard. I, myself, have had a difficult year of growth, loss and change, but boy did I laugh this year. I found new friends, new support and a lot of new love. I took comfort in old love and I got to watch my children grow and learn and experience new things every day. When I look back on 2016 I think about how much my son’s confidence has grown. I think about how my daughter is the strongest woman I’ve ever met and she’s only six years old. I reflect on the fact that I had to watch my husband go through a really difficult year and yet we were and are able to look to one another for strength and laughter. I celebrate all of this. 

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I encourage you to not buy into the negativity that goes around at this time of year. Don’t bash the year you just survived.

You. Are. Here. You made it.

If you want to make 2017 better for yourself, start with some positive reflection on how you made it through 2016. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate others. Grieve death but celebrate the life that was; there is nothing we can do about it, so respect it, grieve it and then choose to celebrate it.

I don’t like being the bearer of bad news, but there are going to be difficult moments in 2017. And you know what? You’re going to handle those too. You’re going to cry and rage and feel like you’ve been run over at times in this coming year. But you’re also going to laugh until you pee your pants, you’re going to dance with your lover and you’re going to be silly with your friends. You’re going to celebrate the birth of new babies and you’re going to welcome new friends into your life.

You are here and you can handle all of it. You just handled 2016. Take a few moments and remember the good of 2016, really think about it. Think only of the good. And smile. Let that positivity guide you into your new year. 

Me, I’m going to spin some records from the artists we lost this year and I’m going to dance and smile because ultimately, that’s what I want my life to be about. Dancing and smiling. 

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I choose to celebrate 2016 for its good, its bad and its ugly. I choose to start 2017 filled with gratitude and light instead of anger and dismay. I hope you stand tall and bright with me. 

I wish you all the best in this coming year.