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#PushingForAwareness for Childhood Mental Illness- DAY 50!!! WE DID IT!

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50 days. 50 pushups. All to raise funds and awareness for childhood mental illness.

Today is Day 50 and I’m so proud to say WE DID IT! We made it through all 50 days and we did at least 50 pushups every day. There were hard days, happy days, sad days and everything in between days. There were days when we absolutely did NOT want to do pushups, but we did them anyway.

Why?

Because kids don’t get to decide what days that have a mental illness. Kids don’t get to decide if it’s a “good” day for depression or a panic attack. So, we got up and we did them. Every day for 50 days.

So far, we have raised over $4400 and have a goal of $5000. Please donate if you can!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE!

My son, age 10, diagnosed with panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety and depression wants to educate everyone about childhood mental illness. He wants other families to have the resources we didn’t have as we began our battle against mental illness. He’d love his classmates, teammates and the adults in his world to understand him just a little better.

My son, age 10, fights every day against his illness and he wants people to know this is not a choice and he would give anything to not have anxiety and depression.

My son, age 10, has more grit, determination, perseverance and desire to educate about a difficult subject than 99.9% of the adults I know.

He’s done 50 pushups for 50 days and we’ve had many conversations about childhood mental illness in random places like grocery stores, baseball games and tournaments. We’ve learned a ton of terrifying stats about childhood mental illness. We’ve educated ourselves and learned about resources like FamilySmart that help families learn about helping their child with mental illness.

But the greatest thing about this campaign is the pride in my son’s face as we’ve gone through the 50 days. He checked our campaign daily to see how much money we’ve raised to help others. He’s given gratitude to those acknowledging his hard work and now…he’s asked what’s next.

Apparently, we’re not done after this campaign is over and I couldn’t be more proud of my son for wanting to continue to educate and help and let others know they’re not alone in their battle against mental illness.

He’s thinking sweatshirts. So, stay tuned for more information on that!

But for now, I’m going to revel in the fact that my son and I accomplished this goal and battled mental illness every single day of this campaign. We won every battle. Some days left us a little battered and bruised, but we’re still here, standing together and figuring it all out.

Thank you for your support. Thank you to everyone who fundraised for Owen’s campaign and thank you to everyone who donated to our campaign #PushingForAwareness.

We are humbled by your support and so very grateful to each and every person involved in our campaign…whether you donated, completed your pushups or just had a conversation with us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

“Tired” Changes as Our Kids Grow – It’s Not a Competition, We’re All Exhausted

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I was talking with a few girlfriends the other day and we were reminiscing about the baby and toddler years. One of my friends said “I wish I knew what tired felt like back then”…and it got me thinking.

We’re all tired. No matter what stage of Motherhood we’re in, we’re all tired. Some days, we’re exhausted. But, comparing fatigue levels and one-upping one another seems a little silly to me.

As I was thinking about my reaction to my friends off-the-cuff remark (she wasn’t trying to stir anything up, it was just a conversation that got me thinking), I questioned why I wanted to defend the Mamas of newborns and little ones.

I realized, it’s not that we’re (the Mamas with bigger kids) more tired than Mamas of newborns, babies and toddlers…it’s simply that tired has changed.

I think until your kids are about five years you, the fatigue and the “tired” is physical. You’ve just either shot a watermelon out your cooch or you’ve been sliced open and your insides became your outsides for a bit, so recovery is tiring.

Then you’re nursing and going through teething and night terrors and growing pains. You’re not sleeping, so you’re still physically tired. You have to carry all the shit around – carseat, diaper bag, BABY, toys, food, bottles, binkies, babas and ALL THE SHIT around – you’re physically tired!

Honestly, the physical tiredness lasts until about five years old. So, new Mamas…you’re in for the long haul and this is one reason why being physically fit is super important! (I will talk about that in another post)

There are a few exceptions to the above, obviously. If your child is ill, or needs extra care or has a disability…your fatigue is different and your tired will be more than physical…I get that. But, for the most part, the tired of Mamas in the first five years of your kiddo’s life is physical.

THEN…YOU GO AND HAVE ANOTHER KID AND START ALL OVER AGAIN.

Sheesh, woman. Keep it in your pants.

Ha!

Moving on…

As our kids grow, I truly believe our tired turns to fatigue of our heart and soul. So, while the tired isn’t necessarily sleepless nights (or it is, but it’s because we’re worrying, not being woken up to “find a missing stuffy” at 2am), the fatigue comes from being a warrior for our kids for years on end.

We constantly have to teach, educate, protect, and stand for our kids. And that, my friends, is exhausting in a different way. No, you don’t have to change diapers in the middle of the night, but you will have to worry about your child’s happiness when they have social issues or they have a learning disability or they (gasp!) have a mental illness.

Your tired will come because you must constantly be the pillar of support for your child and again, while not physically taxing, your poor heart and soul really do some marathons out there.

I guess that is why I harp and harp and harp about taking care of your body (by moving it!), eating well, getting rest when you can and taking time to fill your bucket back up. Motherhood is tiring no matter what stage, so we need to put our health (physical, mental, social, spiritual) at the top of our priority list so that we have the energy required to make it through raising super amazing kids.

New Mamas – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your new baby needs is to be snuggled, fed, changed and loved.

Mamas to babies – hang in there. You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your baby needs is your heart, your smile, your love and your silliness (and the necessities of life, obvi).

Mamas to toddlers – OMG. You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your toddler needs is BOUNDARIES…and your love, support, education and knowledge of how to get on in this world they’re discovering.

Mamas to kids – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your kids need from you is for you to be strong enough to guide them through learning the ways of the world (not much to ask, is it?! Oy.) Be there for them, even on the most tiring days hug them and love them up. Let them know they belong.

Mamas to big kids – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your big kids need to know is that they are loved and adored and they belong in this world with you by their side. Let them feel your joy and your love. On their hard days, hold them closer even as they try to push you away.

Mamas to teens – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know you’re amazing and all your teens need to know is that you are a safe place for them to come and be vulnerable. They need to know they’ll always be loved and adored and belong somewhere…and that somewhere will be with you when they choose to fall into your arms. Try not to be offended when they choose something else, just be there. Breathe. This too shall pass.

Mamas to young adults – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. Know that you’ve raised incredible kids and take a step back to appreciate all you’ve done and all you’ve guided. All your kids need to know is that there is always a loving and safe place for them to come home to. Arms open, Mama…even on the exhausting days.

Mamas to adults – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. Take a breath. Rest when you can. All your kids need to know at this point is that you’re proud of them, that they are loved and that you remain a safe place for them to come home and be their authentically true and vulnerable selves. You’ve given this gift their entire lives, keep at it. You did a good job, Mama. A very good job.

To ALL the Mamas – You’re tired. I hear you and I feel you. I choose to not compete with you but to align myself with you and support and love you up. I choose to dole out what energy I have left after I’ve given it all to my kids and support you in any way, shape or form I can. I feel you, Mama. We will get through all of this and at the end of it…we will have amazing kids to show for it.

I just hope we can stay awake to appreciate it. xo

Sibling Love – Some Days We Nail It

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My kids are the bomb. And yeah, I know…most parents think their kids are THE BOMB, but mine really are, so there.

Startin’ it off real mature…

I digress.

I was watching my kids yesterday and I noticed how strong their bond is. Sure they bicker and fight and push one another’s buttons, but at the end of the day, I rest assured that they will always have one another to lean on. And, they will lean on one another should they need to.

Here’s the great thing about my kids: they’re actually friends. They play together. They hang out together. They often walk to school together. And, when push comes to shove, I know they have the other’s back.

Trouble at school? They turn to one another.

Bad day? I hear them talking to one another.

Good day? I hear them making fun of one another.

I always knew they were close, but after talking with other parents, apparently, that isn’t super “normal”. While we do have the bickering and the “O-Wen-AHHHHHHH” (that’s when Paytie is super pissed…probably because her brother stole her shoes and hid them again), we also have a lot of laughter, hugging and adoration between those two little schmoopies of mine.

You should also read how I raise them and the “Don’t be a d**k” mantra I taught my son…it’s saved him and his sister A LOT of aggravation.

I’m a big believer in the universe and souls and that souls can wait for one another, so if you don’t…skip the next paragraph.

I went to a tea leaf reader years ago and she told me that my kids were very, very close. In fact, they wait for one another and continue lives together as brother and sister through time. And this time, they chose me to be their Mom. They waited together and hand-picked me to be their Mama.

How freakin’ cool is that? They chose me! Am I not the luckiest Mom in the world to have these two as my kids? I felt so humbled and loved when she told me that, and whether you believe that to be true or not, there is no denying the bond between my children.

Payton constantly checks in with her brother to see how he’s feeling. She always asks if he was able to get on the ice or play his baseball game (for those that don’t know, my son has severe panic disorders and they often cause him to miss things he loves). She celebrates when he achieves and she is compassionate when his anxiety gets the best of him.

And Owen? He manages the overly dramatic episodes my daughter likes to stage and stands up for her when she needs it. I’ve even seen him hug her just to hug her and calm her down when she is nearly inconsolable.

All this to say…I’m so freakin’ glad they have one another. With my son going to middle school next year and my baby girl growing up what seems like five years in just one…there is comfort to know they have one another’s back.

I love love. I love sibling love.

I know that I can rely on my own brothers to support and love me, no matter what, so it was important for me to foster a strong bond between my kids. The cool part? I don’t think I had anything to do with it. I think they have it naturally and I get to just sit back and know that I don’t have to worry about their bond. It is the strongest sibling bond I’ve ever seen.

Yay siblings!

Facts About Mental Illness that You Absolutely Need to Know

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With five days left of #PushingForAwareness, I continue to be humbled by my son and his non-stop desire to raise awareness for childhood mental illness.

He has done 50 pushups for 46 days now (well, he still needs to get his done today but to be fair, it’s currently 5:12 am, so I’ll give him some grace here) to raise awareness and funds for childhood mental illness. Throughout this campaign, he has raised over $4000 and with 5 days he is bound and determined to reach his goal of $5000.

To donate: https://fundly.com/50-for-50-pushup-challenge-for-childhood-mental-health-aware-50-for-50-pushups-challenge

After battling for over 4 years, my son was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder and depression. He is 10 years old. He has officially called his mental illness “Dickson”. We hate Dickson.

Over the past 46 days of #PushingForAwareness I have learned a lot about mental illness and I thought I would share some of the most shocking stats I discovered.

Facts About Mental Illness:

  • 1 in 7 kids has a mental illness.
  • 1 in 5 actually gets the help they need.
  • 24% of all deaths in 15-24-year-olds are caused by suicide.
  • 49% of people who feel they have suffered from depression have never gone to a doctor.
  • On average, there has been a 188% increase in emergency room visits from 2007 to 2018 for ages 5 to 24 (229% increase for ages 5 – 9).
  • Untreated anxiety often leads to depression. Depression rarely (if ever) leads to anxiety.
  • 4.4 million kids have been diagnosed with anxiety, 1/3 of those have depression (32.5%).
  • 100% of Canadian will be affected by mental illness at some point in their life.
  • Mental illness is the #1 disability affecting people around the world. READ THAT AGAIN. NUMBER ONE.
  • 6% of the Canadian healthcare budget is dedicated to mental illness; that number should be closer to 30% to account for the people with disabilities and mental illnesses.

If you think that mental illness is not a “real” issue in this world, think again. The great thing? There is help now and if we get our kids help NOW, they may not have to battle their entire lives. If we get our children help NOW, they may not experience depression and the darkness that brings to their lives.

If we get our children help NOW, we’re arming them with tools and strategies to fight their illness with all they are. They may need medication, they may need strategies, they may need counseling…DO IT ALL.

My son wants you all to know that he will continue to push for awareness far after this campaign is done. He’s already asked what we are doing next to help…he has his mind set on creating “Dickson Sucks” sweatshirts…I kind of adore that idea.

We’re pretty damn bonded, this kid and I. xo
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I hope these facts are staggering to you. I hope these stats are eye-opening. I hope the friggin’ government reads this and all the other stats out there and opens their damn eyes to the help that is required for the people suffering who needn’t be suffering.

There is help. There are medications. There are people who can support mental illness. I’m one of them and I will fight Dickson beside my son until the day Dickson shrinks to a manageable size for my son or I die. I prefer the non-dying option.

If you have a child that you feel is suffering from anxiety, depression or any other mental illness, the best resource I’ve found is called FamilySmart. They put you in contact with a leader in your area that can help you navigate through the over-worked system that is mental health and find the resources available to you. Please reach out to them at www.familysmart.ca.

My Child Has Mental Health But He Also Has a Mental Illness

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When my child was diagnosed with a mental illness I was constantly talking about mental health. I was confusing the two terms and replacing “illness” with “health”, mostly because I cringed every time I used the term “mental illness”.

You see, there’s still a stigma around those words, even for a Mom who has been advocating for her son for years and years. I just couldn’t seem to easily say the words “my son has a mental illness”. It was easier to say “I’m raising awareness for mental health” or “I’m pushing hard for my son’s mental health to be taken care of”.

Day 7 of #PushingForAwareness

Until one day my son corrected me.

We were talking about the campaign we are doing called #PushingForAwareness where we committed to completing 50 pushups for 50 days to raise awareness for childhood mental illness. BUT…when we first started the campaign I kept saying we were “raising awareness for childhood mental health”.

My son asked, “Is there a difference between health and illness”? I paused, because in that moment I realized I needed to get over the stigma and educate properly.

I told him that we were raising awareness for childhood anxiety and depression.

“And those are illnesses, right? So we should say that we’re raising awareness for childhood mental illness because that’s what we’re doing”, he said.

“You’re right, buddy. You’re 100% right. We’re raising awareness for childhood mental illness.”

You see, everyone has mental health but not everyone has mental illness.

Your mental health slides on a continuum – some days you could have good mental health and other days you could have bad mental health. Stress, sleep, nutrition, life, in general, all lend a hand in dictating your mental health. But mental illness? Well, that gets diagnosed by a professional.

You may notice now that in the live videos we do for our daily pushups that my son introduces it as “raising awareness for mental illness” and after a few weeks, I no longer cringe at those words. I’ve grown accustomed to them and appreciate the power behind them.

I was feeling pretty baffled by my reaction to the words mental illness, but I’ve accepted that it was all based around the stigma we are currently battling. Even though I’ve been battling and I’ve been fighting for my son, I needed to wrap my head around the terms. They’re just words, but wow…words hold power, don’t they?

The more I’ve used the words, the easier it’s gotten. It’s not that I’m ashamed of his diagnosis at all, it’s not that I felt the need to hide it (obviously…sheesh we’re running a whole campaign on it), but I did need to address my cringey reaction to those two words.

And, the answer truly was stigma. It’s a long battle ahead of us to de-stigmatize the word. I know this because even as a true and huge advocate for mental illness, I shirked away from using the correct term for my son…and that’s the problem.

I realize more than ever that the work we need to do to help in the area of destigmatizing (is that even a word?!) the words “mental illness” is massive. However, I also know you can get the heck over it because I have done just that.

So, say it with me “MENTAL ILLNESS”.

My child has a mental illness.

I can say it now and I actually stand a little prouder. I may even throw a shoulder shimmy at you because it’s not scary at all. It’s actually pretty damn empowering.

My son called me out on not addressing the issue and using the incorrect term and I couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s not embarrassed by it and he continues to have the amazing conversations about mental illness with adults, friends and random people in the grocery store. So who am I to stand in his way?

If you haven’t checked out his campaign to raise awareness for mental illness, please do so! We have ONE WEEK left and we’re about $1300 short of our $5000 goal.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE!